Here’s a normal day for us…
Wow I’m tired. Ok but I got this. I’ll make something fun (insert baking/craft/outing/etc)… Fast forward 15 minutes… WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?
Anyone else?
Some days I really can power through and we do something fun. I make muffins or we try a new craft. Sometimes I even get out the door with 3 small children AND make it to said destination.
But more often than not, I find myself (or one of the kids) crying and wondering what went wrong. Are you on the edge too? There’s just a lot going on and I feel powerless to manage it, let alone fix it. So I’m writing this post to remind myself of my best steps to shake off the funk and move forward in a practical way.
Step 1: Take a timeout
When things are really hard, I need to just step away. I ask the kids to give me a minute and set the baby somewhere safe. Then I head to the bathroom (its just always a place I can be alone!) and I take a minute or two to calm down. I want to be better about taking his moment to call out to God for help. But usually it comes out as “WHAT is happening???” But I guess that’s a start.
Step 2: Have a snack
Hangry is a real thing for me. I need to eat something. The kids probably do too. And the baby is almost certainly hungry because he’s a newborn and they eat allllll the time it seems.
Step 3: If possible, lay down
This one is not usually feasible. But! If by some miracle the kids can be settled to watch a show and the baby is asleep, I will lay down for a few minutes. I’d like to tell you that I sleep or pray or read my bible. The reality is I play a game on my phone, scroll Instagram or doze. This area could use some work…
Step 4: Go outside
This is a tip from my first therapist years ago in Portland. Deep in the valley of postpartum depression, she told me I had to go outside every day. Even if all I did was put a chair outside my front door and sat there. I had to LEAVE the house. This is still true for me today. (In another post, I’ll talk more about my mental health journey and why this advice was so important and so very hard in the beginning)
Step 5: Ask for help
Truthfully, this one is so hard for me. Sometimes I don’t know what I need. Sometimes what I need can’t be asked for (the baby to sleep, me to sleep, etc). And sometimes I’m too embarrassed to say what I actually need. And with the shelter in place, some things are just plan hard to ask for… like “can you watch my kids?” When they’ve had head colds for a week… not the best.
Step 6: Take a shower
This is my restart. Sometimes all the steps are not enough and I have to wash it all off. Sometimes I cry in the shower and sometimes I put on LOUD music and party on. Either way, I take 10 minutes to myself and come out feeling a little more like I can manage. (This step is especially helpful if I have actually asked for help and someone is coming over! Ha!)
What are your go-to steps? How to you manage the overwhelm and monotony of daily life with little kids during the pandemic?